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I want to end my coaching relationship but I really like my coach and feel bad about doing it.

09 April 2019 Anthony Eldridge-Rogers

Well that tells me two things. First, your coach has probably done a good job of connecting with you and that you have both bonded, a necessary step for good coaching to take place. The second is that somehow something has gone awry in the design and contracting of the coaching relationship. You don’t say it in your question but I am betting that the reason you feel bad about doing it is because you feel it might cause your coach some pain, i.e. they feel bad as a result of you wanting to stop being coached by them?

So when a coaching relationship is set up, it is the coaches professional responsibility to create a way to end the coaching relationship that can always be accessed at any time. This also has to be done ethically and ‘cleanly’. In addition, they ought to revisit it with you within reasonably short time frames, i.e every 6 weeks or so. Now I don’t know whether this has happened or not but I am guessing not.

So where to from here? Your coach is being paid by you for a professional coaching service. They are used to ending coaching relationships and the fact that you want to do so is entirely your right. The best next step is not to end the relationship but to tell them you are thinking about it and ask them to coach you about it. If that is too daunting find yourself another coach and hire them to coach you to end the current relationship. That may cost you a few additional sessions, but will be well worth it. Also mixed up in here is something about your own personal power and desire to not hurt people. That is a great and admirable trait in anyone. But if it is making it impossible for you to enact your deepest wishes then it is not. Good luck.