The Authentic Self in Recovery Coaching
27 May 2016 Jean M LaCour PhD
“Fulfil your destiny by being your authentic Self which awakens the dream that sleeps within your Soul.” Trudy Vesotsky
There is something in each of us that responds to the notion of being real, being authentic, of genuinely connecting with our core self, with our “Authentic Self.” Our life stories can lead us instinctively to sense a part of us is locked away or we may experience a life event that dramatically redefines our sense of self in a very tangible way. Healthy recovery from life controlling problems includes becoming more aware of who we were created to be.
After twenty-four years of working in the world of international addiction recovery and being a person in recovery from codependency, as well as a certified prevention professional, trained counselor, educator, writer, advocate and thought leader, I sensed there was something missing.
For me the missing piece is about a way for people to move past a focus and identity based in pathology and powerlessness to recognizing and valuing their true inner self and their own remarkable strengths, abilities and resiliency.
In time I learned how to incorporate the principles of positive psychology along with highly effective techniques that foster personal growth. The result is a practical and holistic system that includes the best practices of drug, alcohol and addiction recovery with the proven protocols of Professional Coaching.
Why Coaching and not more therapy?
I discovered the dynamics of the Coaching interaction itself can create a powerful context for improving health, wellness and performance. The client’s self-awareness is the key that opens the door for them to realize their goals.
Life situations and events alter our self-awareness. When a child or young person experiences stressful and traumatic episodes, these experiences can lead to distortions in self-image and awareness unless caring adults provide a sense of safety with age appropriate explanations and comfort for events like accidents, divorce, death of a loved one, a family crisis, a move, natural disasters, etc. In the absence of timely emotional support, a process of self-abandonment can occur at any age.
Self-abandonment provides a way for the individual to cope by distancing from the pain. The result is often emotional dependency, core anxiety, and stress which lead to health challenges, negative or compulsive behaviors, codependency, escapism, substance abuse and addiction.
It is critical to enhance personal self-awareness for reality based growth. Exploring family of origin dynamics during the Coaching process helps our clients see the person they have become today is primarily a reaction to the people, life scripts, and events that have shaped them.
Many of the obstacles and roadblocks we all face are related to the unhealthy boundaries, rules and roles that define and control our ‘false self’. Recognizing we have outgrown these futile patterns releases us to explore more congruent and satisfying ways of being ourselves.
Hundreds of people have experienced profound insight, greater self-acceptance and freedom after attending one of my intensive seminars on Family Dynamics in Recovery. I created the seminar to enhance self-awareness through experiential learning processes, not therapy. I have further adapted these family of origin processes to complement the Professional Coaching competencies which are inherently designed to facilitate self-reflection within in a respectful non-shaming context that invites change. It is a powerful combination!
Professional Coaches with specialized knowledge of addiction recovery can extend these immense benefits to individuals already impacted by substance misuse. People who seek out Professional Coaches are often high functioning. They are employed or in school or business owners or people in high stress situations or professions. Because stigma permeates support groups, counseling, and treatment, many people need a confidential, non-shaming space to look at their personal performance. Many will be open to setting healthier goals related to their drinking or other compulsive behaviors with a supportive Coach.
In the US, Professional Coaches specializing in Recovery are poised to serve 60 to 80 million individuals in the “harmful use” category; double or triple that number for family members of addicted people (Lawford, 2013). Also, 24 million people who self -identify as being “in recovery” can benefit from new ways to release old identities, relapse patterns, and explore possibilities (Lawford, 2013). I believe Professional Recovery Coaching will be the standard of aftercare for progressive clinical treatment programs that want to offer a higher level of service.
Co-creating the Coaching Relationship based on trust, respect and a strengths perspective opens the way for clients to experience the Coaching “Presence” and sense their own Authentic Self -even glimpse their own destiny. Including effective recovery wisdom within Professional Coaching will increase our clients’ self-appreciation, self-respect, and self-nurturing. These are gifts of immeasurable worth.
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